I guess it's about time.  I've been holding this in quite a while, at least to everyone except a few.  Since I was a child, I can remember unusual things happening. I remember hearing voices, feeling the presence of someone around me, or seeing people in a way that felt much deeper and clearer than usual and at times, simply "knowing" things before they happened.

Now, as an adult who has undergone some radical self-realization and a great deal of personal growth work over the past few years, I know what is true for me:  I am highly intuitive and at times, a medium, experiencing encounters with people who have passed, receiving information about people I don't know, seeing auras, hearing messages, feeling the presence of spirit.  I am empathic and often can sense in a person's body or heart, pain they are holding.  And, I have a great deal of loving, healing energy I can give to other people.

A friend asked me recently, "How do you know any of this is real? How do you know you are actually healing anyone, or that the things you see or hear are real or mean anything?" Good and honest questions. My answer is, "I don't know" and I am okay with that. What I am sure of is that when a person comes to me, open and willing to receive love, healing, and whatever else unfolds, they will leave feeling better. As will I.  It's an energy exchange and that energy, when there is loving intention behind it, is powerful.

I have learned to recognize myself as an intuitive and a healer. I have learned to value what I can offer and to be open and willing to serve others and this is a way that feels right for me. I understand I take a risk in putting myself out there in this way. It's new, it's a little scary and I feel vulnerable. Reminds me of each time I walk onto a stage to sing. But, this life is sweet, precious and brief and if I can do anything with these combined gifts to help other people, now is the time.

Having experienced a huge amount of pain, loss and hard lessons in my life, I am clear that I have come to a place of deep compassion, and I am able to hold space for others and their pain, their energy, with gratitude and love.  In that intention, I have become a Reiki II practitioner, as well as studying varieties of sound and vibrational healing so that I can bring all of these together and begin to offer myself to others.

It is with all this that I am launching a practice as a vibrational/energy healer and intuitive.  I have been honing these skills and building to this for years and feel it goes hand and hand with my art, my singing, my public speaking and teaching - all together to shape a balanced life where I can use all my gifts and as I hope, help to create peace and release for others.

And so it is - I hope the word will spread and I look forward to being a positive and healing offering for my clients and friends.  -- Namasté, Kyle

Today I chose - quite willfully - to spend the entire day listening to music, singing along and PAINTING, interrupted only by the occasional need to make a snack for my son and his friend.

I'll admit something that isn't easy. I've been feeling deeply disconnected and rather lonely for weeks now. A sadness has befallen me that I have had trouble shaking. Like a real, true longing for friends around me, for a lover, for connection. I know it's a passing moment, even if it's weeks long or months long. I know things are always changing and transforming but right now - I just have a strong sense of my aloneness.

I noticed is that when I am painting, I don't feel alone.  I feel immersed. I forget that I am not in a relationship. I forget that I am a single mom, or that I feel some days like the weight of the world is right on top of me. I forget all the worries of my job, my responsibilities and really, everyone except me and my canvas. It's a gift. I must remind myself to do it again and again. My paintbrush, song list and the flow of creating is my community -- thankful.

It's amazing that I haven't written in 2 1/2 months. Ah, well. Today, I carved out (and I DO mean carved) time for myself to immerse into painting. It's been an intense (emotionally, professionally and motherhood-ly) few weeks and I am working to find the balance I so badly need. I pulled out my memoir, starting writing again, loving the process of putting words to paper. I am painting as much as I can fit it and it's helping.

Today:
It's been a month full of big, juicy, LIFE. Both of my sisters were here, one after the other, visiting. This is something I have wanted for a very long time. Two parties, outings, art, talking til late at night and now, preparing for Family Camp - our week-long adventure in the Santa Cruz mountains.

Pictures of me and my sisters... Grateful to have them both in my life.

 July 12:
Genuinely excited and grateful just to simply wake up this morning. Such JOY in the gratitude I am feeling now. Wonderful to have a chat with a dear friend, share in the excitement of a big adventure her kid is up to, delighted to know my sister and kids will be here in a little over 8 hours. Loving everyone and everything that's around me, whatever it is. Everything feels like more than enough, including me. Wishing I could share this feeling with everyone - I supposed posting about it is my way for the moment.

July 11:
What a peaceful thought to know that right now I am all I ever need be. Me - and my life are perfect and whole and valuable now. I need do nothing other than breathe. It's truth for each and every one of us. Your gift is your love and presence in this world and with each breathe, each smile, each tiny kindness, you are deeply affecting the vibration of the entire planet.
Pretty cool.

July 10:
Isn't it nice to know that you have everything you need right now, in this moment? Isn't it nice to be able to just be present to the wonder of being alive? Try this: Stop what you are doing and just...intentionally and for no reason at all... SMILE Doesn't it feel GOOD to be able to do that simple little thing? If it feels that good to you, imagine what everyone gets out of your smiling.
It's all a gift.

The weekend was full and rich. My heart was heavy from changing the dynamic of a beautiful relationship, and I chose to process all that I was feeling through painting and taking good care of both myself and my home. I spent Saturday at a painting retreat with Rassouli and community and it was GOOD. I noticed that for the first couple of hours I was distracted and not able to flow, then a particular piece of music came on and it all shifted. I was able to really dive into my painting and feel it, get lost in it. Very cathartic.

I was so inspired that I spent the following day, Sunday, cleaning out my studio and setting it up so that I can, at a moment's notice, just walk out, grab my brush and paint. I am going to do that now.....

I have spent countless hours of my life thinking, "What is my purpose? What am I here for? What is the big, amazing thing I can do and give to the world that will give my life real meaning and positively affect the lives of others?" Many of us spend our lives waiting to find our "purpose," or waiting to start really living our lives until we figure it out.

Small adjustments, little shifts, moments of heart-opening, sunrise walks, meditation, listening to our powerful, intuitive inner voice, stillness, laughter, singing, dancing, loving and listening. Here's to understanding that whatever we are doing right now -- whoever we are with, whatever we are giving our energy to -- IS OUR LIFE'S PURPOSE. It need not be bigger or smaller than that. This right here and right now is what it's all about. :)


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Last night I was alone. I knew it was coming and yet it felt that suddenly I was just here, in my house, at 7pm with nothing planned. My son was away with his dad, and my work day was over. I had this big, open, empty Friday night in front of me and I felt a drive to fill it up with something - a party, friends, dancing, singing, getting out there and doing something BIG. In the end I realized what I really wanted was hot yoga and sleep.

It was a perfect night and therein is my lesson: I need not make anything big out of anything. I can find true peace and contentment in little things and I can trust that they are enough. My purpose is to be ME and to be present to whatever I am doing, whoever is in front of me. My purpose is Right Now.


:)