Kyle-Creative Blog by Design

Painting anger

2011-01-14T18:10:00.000-08:00

In all the years I have been creating, I can honestly say I have in every case tried to make a pretty picture. Meaning, I haven't painted ugly thoughts, politically charged pieces, or created collages about tormented periods of my life. Recently I was reminded again that I have the option of using my talents to do just that - to paint my emotions that aren't so pretty, to paint anger. To get my feelings out, the good and the bad, through my art. So I sat out to do that. This is a piece about cracking open and talking about, releasing painful memories. I am still working on the piece and it's a bit like peeling back my skin to show this, but hey, it's part of me, and I have no idea where the piece is going.... it's a work in progress and its only purpose right now is to be an outlet. I have written many things on it, scratched some out, painted over some, written them again, and so forth. It is acrylic paint and collage. I will post an updated pic when I moved further on it.

BASQUIAT and my 9 yr old

2011-01-10T21:02:00.000-08:00

My son and I watched "BASQUIAT: The Radiant Child" last night, and it was a good documentary, thorough and compelling, about his art and life. I have been a fan for years, and was excited to see it. My son was not interested, he said, but once he realized I was going to watch it with or without him, he wandered in and was glued to the set with me until the end, near 9:30pm. As he went to bed he asked if we could paint in the morning. More specifically, he asked if we could wake up at 6am and paint. I told him, sure, if you are up at 6, wake me and we will paint.... assuming he'd sleep in, having been up late.

At 6:05am, he came into my room and said, "Mom, let's paint now." True to my word, I pulled myself out of bed, made coffee and set him up at the kitchen table with canvas and paint. He stayed there and worked for over an hour, until it was time to get ready for school.

.... hope he stays interested. :)

Homage to Klimt's Tree of Life

2010-12-29T16:23:00.000-08:00

Ho, Ho, Ho

2010-12-22T13:11:00.000-08:00

Asian Hornet Challenge

2010-12-13T14:09:00.000-08:00

I got a call from a friend in the business and he asks me if I can sculpt a life-like 2" long asian hornet.... by the next day. These suckers are huge in life (2-3" long!) Having never done a model before, I hesitated when I heard the deadline but then thought it would be a fun challenge, so I said yes, ran out to pick up supplies!

I spent a total of 10 hours working on it. I sculpted the body from polymer clay, the wings are wire with cling wrap heated onto the shape then painted with markers. Once the body was baked, I painted with acrylic and enamel paints, created legs and antenae from a few unusual found items (I have to have some mystery!) and after much ado, voila!

DS XL Art Academy Paintings

2010-11-10T09:18:00.000-08:00

Each of the paintings below are about 3.5" wide on the screen of the new DS XL, created by me in a program called ART ACADEMY. I am learning it as part of a teaching gig. I am going to instruct a group of marketing folks on how to use the software. The frog image shows a photographic reference (top) and the painting (bottom).

tweet!

2010-11-09T14:20:00.001-08:00

Some things bear repeating...

2010-10-07T14:26:00.001-07:00

This is my current facebook status.

We can only, each of us, know our own truth - that is what we live with and carry with us - the world around us muddies the water, and no one knows each of our stories from OUR perspective - so hopefully, we try to give each other a break, not believe the worst, move forward in love and see each other in the highest possible light. I will see everyone in love and light today. Everyone. ♥

The Changing Room

2010-10-04T17:50:00.000-07:00

A few samples of a book I designed and illustrated :)

Where is the art?

2010-10-03T20:15:00.001-07:00

Keep scrolling.... I just decided to share some of my writing here as well, so more visual art is coming!

Excerpt from Memoir

2010-10-03T20:11:00.001-07:00

I have been working on this for months, am making some progress... can share a bit here.

Some things are vague, some things are vivid. “Was there water in the tub?” the officer asked the air. He wasn’t looking at anyone, just writing. “Maybe we should give her a sedative, she’s going to snap,” I could hear Johnny saying, “you know, something to calm her down?” His worry was on my sister, Karen, as she paced inside the bedroom, from wall to wall to wall to wall, wailing. I heard him say, “Melissa doesn’t even know she’s gone.”

I am Melissa, and I thought she was asleep and probably very, very sick. I didn’t understand yet that this had been building up over of months of crying out. She did things. Half-hearted attempts. No one had ever talked to me about death, so I had no idea what it meant. I felt like I suddenly didn’t know anyone around me, like my mother was a stranger, a woman I didn’t know. My sister was a screaming girl I had never seen before. All the grown-ups in my house were strangers. I was lost.

©2010 M Kyle Hollingsworth

chance meeting

2010-10-03T20:10:00.001-07:00

I can see you she said
past the art that you wear
what you're trying to hide
with the blue in your hair

but there's a little girl
looking back

looking back over time
sighing inside
trying to hide
the petty crime
of being alive

you talked to the worn out shoe
the baby too
anyone who would listen to you

it's taken it's tole
they wounded your soul
stuffed you into a hole
and you're dying inside

then turning the tide

and now you have stopped
the dirty old clock
you'll never say more
just stare at the floor

looking back over time
you're sighing inside
and trying to hide
your petty crime
of being alive

©2010 M Kyle Hollingsworth

Nerves

2010-10-03T20:09:00.001-07:00

Unraveled
More than before
Needing those blue pills
More and more.

Never so wary and shakey
Faith wavering – center not holding

Spinning, then spun
I am come undone and
I’m closer now
To an understanding

Of how this all began and
How
With the touch of a hand
And a word a world can change

Ten years are gone and a lifetime
Yet mine has truly begun
In my innocence found
A son and romantic notion

The price has been paid
Yet there’s more to come
Karma has been laid, and
I know I must burn
And bleed more than this

So the center must hold
And my mind musn’t break
Time after time I’ve had
All I can take
And now this too
shall wound me
But I will not break.

Unraveled, but not
Unwound
Still holding
Not making a sound

Calming down.
Calming down.

©2010 M Kyle Holingsworth

smoke

2010-10-03T20:08:00.001-07:00

I found tobacco
Rolled up
And stashed inside the freezer
I miss you in ways I can’t believe
I rolled a cigarette,
Something I’d sworn off
But now, I drag and feel the pain
And want to close the door
I put it out after two,
Lightheaded
And wish for something more

©2010 M Kyle Hollingsworth

Chat

2010-10-03T20:07:00.001-07:00

Sitting alone last night
Glass of wine
I logged on in desperation
Divorce chat room
51 people online

talking about nothing
to each other
and no one

I made my plea
I’m here alone
No brownies or knitting
Just my reflection
In the monitor

Cabernet and anxiety
Needing affirmation
Confirmation
Stimulation

Stupid comments
I get plenty and then
One real voice about
How tough it’s been

It’s too late
I’m logging off
It’s all chatter
About nothing
I’m going through

Sleep computer
At least one of us will
More alone now
More quiet and still

©2010 M Kyle Hollingsworth

Angel Boy

2010-10-03T20:05:00.000-07:00

His voice is the angel
in my ear
it reminds me
I am here, alive and significant.
To someone.
To him.
He’s excited to tell me
the same three things
I love you
I playing
I having fun

The sound echoes all the sweetness
The world has to offer
Harnessed into those tiny words
Given to me over the airways

And it’s precious like gold
All I have to hold on to
To say that is real
And to help my heart heal

I want him here
Want him back with me
But my gift to him is to let him be
Without my pain and suffering
To have fun and joy
And miss this darkness

It’s raining here
And sunny there,
The way it should be
for him
My angel boy
My miracle

One day I’ll tell you
How I held on to hope just for you.
You gave that to me
By coming to be

I love you
They can’t take that
Away from me…
Our song – who’d have known?

©2010 M Kyle Hollingsworth

Letting go of control

2010-10-03T20:04:00.000-07:00

I own a arts & crafts studio where our mission is to help you find, free and bring out your creative side, to learn a new skill, to express yourself without judgement. I see children do it and I marvel at how they just draw, unabashedly and I want that for myself. As an artist, I struggle not to judge my own expression, my own art, even as I make it. My challenge is to truly express myself without expectation of the end result and on some magical occasions, I do it. And it’s beautiful. Most often, though, I think it through, I plan it out, I sketch it, then I draw or paint or create it. And much of the time it comes out exactly as I’d pictured it. Likely because I don’t let it flow, I “control” it. ;)

One night at the studio, we were having a workshop in collage, and I decided to work with an old, thinning and worn piece of framed out wood. I am not sure even where it came from, it was just sitting there, discarded and it called out to me. I began tearing pieces of paper off and applying layers of paint and just when I felt it was “freely” going somewhere I liked and I had a rhythm, my 8 year old son stepped over and asked “Can I help?” (He had been hanging out while class took place and previous to this moment had no interest in participating).

I looked around at the faces of the women and men who were there; people I was trying to model spontaneous, unstructured creativity to. Sometimes when my son asks if he can paint with me on a piece I am working on, I say yes. If it is a painting that is from a sketch, and super detailed, I say “not this one, honey” and I offer him some paper and paint. In fact, I often encourage him to paint with me. But this piece, I was (I thought) ‘in flow’ and for a split second I was about to say “no”, to protect this piece of art, so that I could get out of it what I thought I wanted. Then I realized I would be doing the very thing that stifles pure creativity. So I said “Sure, sweetie, go ahead. Here is a paint brush, here is some glue, what would you like to add”? He promptly picked up the brush, dipped it into white paint and painted almost entirely over an area that I had seen as “done”.

I smiled and let go. He continued, then I joined in and it was fun and I released all my expectations and then he said “Okay, thanks, Mom, I’m done”, and walked away. I added a line drawing of a dandelion, something that reminds me of him, and put it away to dry. It is hanging in my hallway and I love it. It has pieces of both of us and we both signed it.

©2010 M Kyle Hollingsworth

Creative Visions

2010-07-18T16:26:00.000-07:00

About 4 years ago, I got a phone call from someone I'd never met. She had gotten my name from an artist I'd worked with years previous when I was in LA. At the time the phone rang, I was living in Colorado. I flew back to LA every 5 weeks or so to bring my son to see his Dad. On my next trip I met the woman who had called me, Barb - someone I now call a friend. That meeting changed my life. I began an adventure with Dan Eldon and his family, and their foundation Creative Visions. I am honored to call them friends too, even family, and to give my creative best to further their cause. This past week there was a premiere of The Sorcerer's Apprentice at Disney, and a 40' long, nearly 8' tall exhibit I created was premiered as well. A pop-up gallery featuring Dan's work. I was so proud, but also so pleased to be a part of such a magical night. The evening was a fundraiser for Creative Visions and it was a huge success. Silent auction, movie stars, love and generosity. :)

too long away

2010-06-07T21:31:00.000-07:00

I had to go away and write, live, get through for a while. Hope to be back here soon, posting more art, but for now, turning a huge corner and making my way back. I hope to feel creative again soon, too.

What a weekend

2010-05-09T21:03:00.001-07:00

I might be a bit sick, fighting something off... I think exhaustion is a key factor. Good tired, as they say. I had a packed weekend, parties, events, and met TONS of new, interesting and kind people. Now, I am weary, sleep deprived and realizing just how much I need to SLEEP.... off I go to meditate myself into oblivion... ZZZzzzzzzzzz

wow....

2010-05-06T10:31:00.001-07:00

I have to say I did a little dance this morning when I got the news that the book I designed and illustrated is featured on people.com today. I am so proud of it, and so honored to be working with Cristina, Mariska, Leah Komaiko and all the other wonderful women attached to this project. God has really placed me where my heart belongs.
:)

http://celebritybabies.people.com/2010/05/06/the-changing-room-a-mothers-day-gift-for-mom-and-daughter/

art, art, everywhere

2010-04-30T11:15:00.000-07:00

Here's some stuff for my upcoming show, opening May 7 at Hands-on 3rd

My first book is out!!!

2010-04-29T21:01:00.000-07:00

After many years of wanting to write and illustrate books, I got my start by illustrating and designing this one for Cristina Carlino, founder of Philosophy skincare, and social entrepreneur. She's an amazing person and an amazing client. I am super thankful for her and for this work. I am working on #2, and soon #3, and ever grateful!! See the video I animated and did Voice Over for on Cristina Carlino's facebook page. Become a fan!

2010-04-26T13:18:00.001-07:00

Progress, creatively, personally :)

2010-04-23T17:12:00.001-07:00

Completed a full body of work for my show May 7, my first 120 pg book is printed and officially out today! Life is good. Healthy, happy, headed upward.

The blues and creativity

2010-04-21T09:04:00.000-07:00

Why must one effect the other? And so it is, that when I am down and out, I can't seem to create. Anything. I have these lulls as I try to navigate my way through the waters of rebirth. I did complete a series of work (weeks ago) that I am hanging this Friday for an upcoming show. That's something I suppose...

My Inspiration

2010-03-20T09:16:00.000-07:00

Spring has Sprung

2010-03-18T20:43:00.000-07:00

I had a fiendish desire to garden last weekend, and when I got out there, I stayed. For 4 1/2 hours. It felt so good to get my hands in the dirt, to plant and water and do those basic wonderful, earth-bound things :) Below is another drawing I did, literally 20 years ago on tissue paper, and recently scanned to revive and preserve it. This piece was originally created for a cross stitch pattern I created turned into a cross stitch pattern for a company I worked for. I love it. To re-use and revive it, I added collage elements, and more color.

Kyle-Creative

2010-03-10T22:10:00.001-08:00

I just spent the last few hours scanning art from 1987 to present. Some of it is literally falling to pieces from age, so I wanted to save it. A few of them, I want to use in more elaborate artwork. Forthcoming... for now, here is an image of the director John Ford that I drew in 1988 and if you are a facebook person, become a fan of Kyle-Creative and see them all. :)

Back!

2010-03-08T15:39:00.001-08:00

This is my post to promise myself to get back on the saddle, so to speak and start creating again. I have been creating, actually, for others, just not for myself. Gotta draw. Finally I am starting to feel the urge again after many weeks. My life flipped upside down and I am still spinning to find right side up again, but I will post something creative here in the next few days!

Update on the creativity meter

2010-02-23T22:14:00.003-08:00

It's still low, although that is half-true. I did just complete a 110 page book (designed and illustrated), and that was super creative. It's just the personal stuff I haven't been back to yet. But I will, I will.

Artists Block?

2010-02-12T21:00:00.000-08:00

I have been MIA these past few weeks, slowly trying to come back, though still too distracted/sad/tired to do much art yet. Personal stuff sucking away my creativity. Sitting here in my robe thinking about the Shivaratri celebration I was meant to attend tonight, listening to my kiddo getting ready for bed and considering doing the same at... 9pm. What a party over here. I WILL be back with some awesomeness. Soon. !!

Peacock

2010-01-28T17:40:00.000-08:00

poetic? maybe not

2010-01-22T22:05:00.001-08:00

life is so very short, and the sweetness is oft met by a bitter wind to carry us away, lest we hang tightly to our hearts desires til the clouds do part, and the rainbow comes again.

Relish, latest illustration

2010-01-10T09:36:00.000-08:00

Pencil, digital mixed media

Illustration Friday - RENEWAL

2010-01-06T13:15:00.001-08:00

Happy (Crafty) New Year!

2010-01-01T17:53:00.001-08:00

This old teapot

2009-12-27T13:19:00.001-08:00

I was at my sister's house, and in her basement with my son when I spotted this old teapot I painted many years ago. It was dusty and sitting among a few other things. I'd forgotten how many teapots I have painted over the years. Fun!

Georgia Art I

2009-12-26T19:29:00.000-08:00

Family reconnections

2009-12-26T19:28:00.000-08:00

Since arriving in my home town about 3:45am on December 23, I have seen about 50 people. Literally. Groups of family, some of whom I haven't seen in many years, and a few friends. And there is more to come. It's been a great trip so far. Really glad I came. Doing a little drawing too - not great pics, but at least you can see.

I am sitting with my 22 year old niece, who is moving to Washington, DC Monday, to get her master's, and her grandmother, who is kind enough to let us stay with her while we're here. It's weird and wonderful to be home. Hard to describe. Griffen sleeps upstairs, as well as my husband. Not sure when I'll go to bed. I seem to be wide awake, reminiscing about the day. I go to visit my soon-to-be 86 year old grandmother tomorrow - the primary reason for our visit. She's beautiful and not sure who I am anymore, and that is sad. She's the closest thing I have to a mother and it's hard to see her slip away.
I am eternally grateful for all the years I had her in my life. She's an angel on earth.

True, true

2009-12-22T13:08:00.001-08:00

Happy Holidays!

2009-12-22T13:06:00.000-08:00

I want it to feel like Christmas, but what with all the hurrying up and getting ready to travel tomorrow, I just feel... well, weird. It's been an odd year, and odd season and pretty much nothing is what I thought it would be this time last year. Not that I made any huge plans and laid out how my life would be, but I did have hopes and a few expectations. At the very least, I have learned that I am not in control of most things. And even a few I thought I had my hand on have slipped through my fingers and all I can do now is tread water and wait for the next wave. I have certainly been forced to take a good long look at what I want NOW, not 5 years from now. I know that I have to make choices, commitments that may be painful but are necessary for me to live true to my spirit. I have been hit with an intense awareness of just how fragile life is. I have lost many people in my life, but for whatever reason, the two friends that passed this year had a greater, more profound effect on me. I now, in the most literal way, "get" that I could easily not be here tomorrow. I am working toward letting go of things like worrying about the future, because the present is all I need concern myself with. Just being in the now, and not losing sleep over what might be down the road. That is a huge task for someone who inherited a wonderful talent for obsessively worrying - about myself, my kid, my family, friends, work, the dog, the planet, whatever. My prayer for Christmas is, that I can face 2010 with a lighter load, with patience, with a clearer mind and with optimism and joy.

Okay, this is weird/cool

2009-12-16T14:26:00.000-08:00

I was talking to my partner at the shop and said "I am not doing any more boots this year, they just aren't selling right now in the shop." I had, mind you, sold a few pair online, but the ones in the store just sat there and sat there. Then, that same day, a gal came in and bought a pair, and today, a woman bought the other two. Now I am thinking I should kick butt and paint some more tonight. That just plain rocks.

Happy Holidays

2009-12-16T08:07:00.001-08:00

Christmas is... WHEN?

2009-12-15T09:04:00.000-08:00

I hate to sound like a cliché, but how on Earth did Christmas arrive already? I am NOT READY! :) Years ago, I would bake cookies, decorate them, box them up, hand-make my cards from carved lino blocks, decorate every inch of my house in lovely holiday colors...and now? I am lucky if I even have time to wrap my son's Santa gifts. I am leaving with my son and husband for GA in 8 days, we still have not found a dog sitter, I have no gifts, not a single one for any of my family or friends and I rarely even remember to turn the christmas tree lights on. I am busy. Busy is good, actually. I want to be busy. I just miss the feeling of really sinking into the spirit of Christmas. It feels like a freight train coming and I have to hop on board but still haven't packed a single bag, ya know?

I am going to try to make a few gifts, get a few things done and ready and I hope that once we arrive at my family's house, that I can exhale and it will FEEL like a holiday. :) I hope anyway.

I won! :)

2009-12-14T10:49:00.000-08:00

I won the Elves challenge at Monday Artday! Thanks to my sister for inspiring me to join :)

http://www.mondayartday.blogspot.com/

It's finished!

2009-12-14T09:58:00.001-08:00

A Sketch I am coloring

2009-12-10T21:59:00.000-08:00

This is a boy named Jared. He has the most marvelous dreams. Some are terrifying, some are funny and exciting. And when he awakes, he isn't sure what is real and what is still part of his dream... more to come!

The importance of hard work

2009-12-04T22:36:00.001-08:00

I spent the day - and I do mean literally, all day - cleaning my house. I scrubbed and mopped, and organized and dusted and vacuumed and literally cleaned for 7 hours straight, including doing about 8 loads of laundry. My son and husband worked as long outside, in our back yard, pulling weeds, raking leaves and sweeping. It was wonderful. We broke only to have a quick lunch and then wrapped by 5pm, when we all flopped into chairs, had dinner then set up and decorated our christmas tree and hung lights. It was (aside from a few minor meltdowns from our kiddo) one of the best days we've had in ages. Lots and lots of hard work and the reward? Tired, well-used bodies and a clean, warm and wonderful house, ready to face the week ahead. Nice!

I learned to KNIT!

2009-12-02T19:35:00.000-08:00

I actually can't believe it, never thought I would. But after a 10 or 15 minute lesson with Hands-on 3rd's Sasha, I am on my way! It's pretty fun, too. Psst! Come take a lesson and learn, too!

Holiday Sale at Hands-on 3rd

2009-12-01T11:09:00.000-08:00

An overhead view of a few things I made to sell for the holidays

Doodle Bags

2009-12-01T11:08:00.000-08:00

A close-up of the doodle bags I make

Paint Swatch Paintings

2009-12-01T11:06:00.000-08:00

My husband and I were in Home Depot looking for paint colors and I decided to grab a few of these big new swatches to draw and paint on.

Groovy Baby Mobile

2009-11-30T09:17:00.002-08:00

I made this years ago, only just now recovered the photo. It was a gift for my friend (and Hands-on 3rd partner) Renee, for the birth of her daughter, Willa.

Appliqué fun

2009-11-30T09:17:00.000-08:00

This is a skirt and bag I made - my first attempt at appliqué work, and sewing on a machine. I wear the skirt a lot, love it!

The list

2009-11-29T09:03:00.000-08:00

It's Sunday morning and I couldn't sleep in. I woke up with old memories pounding on my brain, and once I had all but hushed those away, saying to myself "don't look back today, charge ahead", what quickly followed was... worry. About the list. The list of things I "need" to do, want to do, must do. The list that will never end, and that most days, I get only a fraction of done. I could and sometimes do feel a lot of guilt over whether I am creating enough art, doing enough around the house, keeping in touch with friends and family enough, making enough money, all of that. My challenge today is to not only strike a few things OFF the list, but to relax into the fact that it's okay if I don't get it all done. It will still be here tomorrow! :)

Illustration Friday - MUSIC

2009-11-23T19:26:00.001-08:00

Pivotal

2009-11-19T23:00:00.000-08:00

How many moments in life leave you thinking, "This is big, everything will be different after this"? I have been fortunate enough to have many of those experiences, whether they be the death of my mother when I was eight, or tragic events during my childhood and adult life, meeting incredible people, or having profound spiritual experiences. In particular, I can say that the past year has been huge for me. Whether it's just that I am ready for more now, being older now, and more mature, or whether things have simply reached a critical mass, I have had a sequence of moments and events that have completely changed my view of LIFE, what it is, what my purpose is, what GOD is, and how I feel about living and about dying. I am now, in the wake of the past year and all it's financial impact, my dear friends dying and getting sick before my eyes, my own self-discovery, seeing my life as new and realizing that now is the moment to really take stock and seize every precious drop of joy and experience that I can while I am here. I am somehow, after a life of insecurity, of self-doubt and confusion, realizing that I am in fact, blessed with huge talents, with an open and loving heart and with health, and I have got to use it all now, while I can. I am making a promise, a vow to myself to LOVE me, to celebrate me, and to embrace all that I am. A mother, a friend, a wife, an artist, a singer, a writer, a designer, a creative, vibrant force. A quirky, complicated, sometimes sad, sometimes giddy, fault-laden, really very kind, but sometimes awkward and lonely, incredibly creative spirit having a human experience.

Monday morning and new ideas

2009-11-16T12:57:00.000-08:00

A crazy busy weekend at Hands-on 3rd, with two birthday parties and a gallery event. Pooped, but it went really well. Today I am playing serious catch up and wondering how 1pm got here so fast. I have a movie poster, a baking company logo, about 100 photos to edit, a mural and some follow up emails and a conference call at 3pm! And I am not really working much - this isn't actually "really busy" LOL...

3:25 pm and quiet

2009-11-12T15:27:00.000-08:00

Sitting in the house alone, loving this quiet time before picking up my son, and before my husband gets home. I am tossing around ideas in my head for some boots I am painting tonight. Made some good decisions today. Feeling happy and content. My son will come home and want to play Connect Four - a game we both love and we will. Then we'll have some dinner, play another game, read a book, he's off to bed, I get some time with my husband, some Hands-on 3rd stuff done and then I paint. YUM!

a fascinator I made at HANDS-ON 3RD

2009-11-12T15:24:00.000-08:00

Renee Ridgeley and I (owners) at Hands-on 3rd with Gorgeously Green's Sophie Uliano!

2009-11-12T15:23:00.000-08:00

Creative Kick Start

2009-11-12T15:22:00.001-08:00

Starting today - new space for me and my thoughts, art and babble. :) stay tuned!